SurvivorandDogMama

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you and plans to give you hope and the future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you declares the Lord and will bring you back to the place from which I’ve carried you into exile (11-14)

I feel like I am an exile right now. I feel like a lot went wrong in my life. I’ve lost a lot of people and I trust even fewer. I’m having a struggle with God right now. I’m really angry and hurt and I was sitting here today. Doing my Bible study to the two days that I didn’t do and you know I thought they were dumb so I said OK. Speak to me this time, God. I flipped the Bible and wouldn’t you know I fell across Jeremiah 29:11, which has always been my guiding bible verse and I kept reading this and I read through verse 14 and I am reminded that He will bring me back to the place from which I carried you into exile.

So I take that as I am in exile right now, I am hiding trying to start fresh and start a new life and I know that also reminds me that I am on the path and this is what God is calling me to do and even though He didn’t want to protect me earlier in the week, He still loves me. He still cares for me. He still has a future for me that won’t harm me that will give me hope. I just gotta wait a little longer. It’s not my time to be okay yet and one day it will be my time. So in the meantime, I’m gonna pick myself up from the boot traps again and keep putting 1 foot in front of the other, and I’m going to do the damn thing.

This journey is really lonely sometimes but I gotta keep going even though I’m very sad right now. God is good, all the time, I got a remind myself of that right now cause I don’t have anybody to remind me of it.

Sitting out on my patio in a different chair than usual, since this is no longer my happy place after another terrible event happened in my life here. But I am outside, in the sunshine, with my dogs and the three of us are gonna take this world together because we’re family along with the two guineas inside .